


You are Free

by kadotoriku



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Canon Era, Depressed Eren Yeager, Gen, Introspection, Killing, Levi-centric (Shingeki no Kyojin), Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26592649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadotoriku/pseuds/kadotoriku
Summary: "You promised, right? When I was fifteen. 'If he loses control, I'll kill him without hesitation.' That's what you said."Levi makes a choice between his assigned mission to stop Eren Jaeger at all costs and his chance to step back and guarantee safety for all the people of Paradis.
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager
Comments: 18
Kudos: 213
Collections: Just sum of ma fav Aot Fic, The Timelesses





	You are Free

A good soldier does not let his emotions override the importance of his mission. A good soldier does not falter when victory is so damn close to his fingertips. A good soldier carries out his orders and will die for the cause if need be.

Levi is a good soldier.

Great, even.

The _model_ soldier.

The one everyone points too when asked on who the perfect soldier is. The one everyone strives to be. The one everyone puts up on a pedestal and idolizes as a symbol of the human race's strength.

He doesn’t let the deaths of his closest comrades spur him to do reckless things. He doesn’t dare stray from the mission even when others fall like flies around him. He doesn't disobey commands when he knows that they’re for the benefit of humanity.

Hell, Levi's been given a cute little moniker too:

_Humanity's Strongest Soldier._

But is he, really?

You could say that.

With all the shit that's been happening lately, he's the last of the original veterans left standing. Anyone else going through half the fucking disasters he's been in wouldn't stand a chance. For fuck's sake, he's apparently a descendant of some weird Titan experiment that lead to his superhuman strength and abilities. His level of skill simply isn't possible for the average man, and that's a _fact_.

Even with his abysmal depth perception that came with the loss of one eye, he still managed to slip through the army of Colossal Titans. He has no fucking idea where the other kids— _kids, honest-to-Walls teenagers that should be partying and getting drunk off their asses and not fighting for the rest of the human race_ —are. They were all separated when a few of the Colossals surrounded them, snatching them up not to kill them but to take them back to Paradis by force.

He has no clue if they've all been brought back, if they survived, or if they went down fighting.

But now is not the time to mourn.

It's not the time to worry over how Jean's commands were muffled by a large hand encasing him. It's not the time to worry over how Connie disappeared in the clouds of steam and smoke. It's not the time to worry over how Armin was last seen going down with two of those Colossal fuckers. It's not the time to worry for Reiner and how that child soldier's Armored Titan was using its massive body to defend evacuating Marleyans. It's not the time to worry about how Mikasa's wires were caught too quickly and too far away for him to intervene.

Levi is a good soldier.

So, he continues on with his duty.

The massive, grotesque Titan form Eren took on is nowhere to be seen, which is concerning because how in the name of Sina do you just lose track of something as tall and gigantic as _that_?

Whatever. This is _Eren Jaeger_ he's talking about, and that damn brat never fails to surprise him in many ways more than one. He managed to survive decapitation, according to his squad, his spine a tendril as it reattached his head to his body and marked the beginning of the Rumbling. At this point, Levi should just stop questioning whatever weird shit is thrown at him because some higher being seems hell-bent on making him suffer.

It’s night, and the moon is the lone witness to him arriving at Fort Salta.

The Colossal Titans are still up north, advancing slowly but surely and leaving nothing but chaos beneath their feet. Large trees surround the ruins of the research facility, which appears to have been personally destroyed by Eren himself. The ceiling of the large building has caved in and its walls have been kicked down. The watchtowers have become piles of useless rock.

There aren’t other people around, and Levi could almost picture the place as abandoned had there not been a few corpses strung around, blood smeared on the pavement and bodies crushed beneath rubble. He sees abandoned guns, scattered papers written in foreign scripts, a leftover supply wagon, and other remnants of the people that were recently here.

He carries on.

Swords in his hands, he hooks himself onto the tallest section of the intact parts of the main building. Levi stretches his senses to their limits and ignores the aching in his thighs. He soars upwards, looking around for any signs of life.

Luckily enough for him, there’s someone waiting when he gets to the tower.

“Eren,” he says.

Turning around, Eren's bright eyes immediately flicker to where two of Levi's right fingers were torn off by that fucking cockroach half-brother of his. A wordless inquiry with an expression that could be described as _concern_.

“Captain Levi.”

Levi wonders if he could correctly guess what the other is thinking, follow his train of thought straight into the depths of his inner self, dig through memories to find out when and where exactly did everything go _wrong_.

The Eren he knows would be guilt-tripped by his overgrown sense of empathy. The Eren he knows would apologize fervently as if it was _him_ that chopped off Levi's fingers and blew up a Thunder Spear to his face. The Eren he knows would wish and pray and weep for an ability to snatch all of Levi's anguish and pain and sorrows so he can lock it all inside of his own bleeding heart.

But is _this_ the Eren he knows?

Years have passed and the kid is no longer a kid but a man. He's no longer a mess of awkward, gangly, flailing limbs. He's no longer the headstrong mess of volatile emotions that would stubbornly hold his ground against the entire fucking world. He's no longer the backbone of morale and goodness and _light_.

Did they really know Eren at all? Did _Levi_?

What's his favorite color? Does he prefer vegetable broth or potato soup? Pork or beef or chicken? What did he think of the Titans after the revelation that they were once human? Is he still fond of testing twenty different combinations of herbs to find out which is the most delicious? He could heal the most fatal of physical wounds with his powers but, considering all the shit he's been through, what’s his mental status?

Is Eren even _okay_?

Levi tries to beat away the influx of questions with a growl under his breath and with a metaphorical fist. He grinds his teeth together in frustration, gripping his sword handles tighter and feeling a phantom sensation of his missing fingers flexing too.

...For fuck's sake, it's _him_ that taught Eren to live life with no regrets.

But that doesn’t stop the self-doubt, the pondering, the disappointment, the _what-ifs_ from festering in his mind. Could Eren have been talked down if they intervened earlier? Should they have reached out more? What if they trained with his original Titan differently? What could they have done differently? Was there a chance they missed to negotiate peace with the other nations? When was the turning point that made _this_ scale of destruction justifiable to him?

At first glance, Levi might've guessed it’s when Eren didn’t react as expected to seeing the ocean’s sparkling waters for the first time, or when he was practically a walking corpse during the military meeting after they took back Wall Maria, or when Levi made the difficult choice of saving Armin over Erwin, or further back when he was kidnapped by Reiner and Bertholdt, or maybe even when his mother was killed in Shiganshina.

In reality, though, it's likely none of the above.

There’s no one singular, _defining_ event that’s the catalyst for Eren’s decision. It was a slow, agonizing descent that led to his decision to commit genocide. A corruption arc that's the collective manifestation of all the trauma and grief he's been through.

It’s not a fall from grace, but the deconstruction and recreation of it.

It’s not the birth of a god, but the transformation of a man into a god of destruction.

It’s not a god sacrificing his own humanity for his people, but a man sacrificing others for his own godhood.

“Are you here to kill me, sir?”

 _Would you like some more tea, sir? Will you teach me how to do that badass—I mean,_ cool _technique, sir? Are we done with the mission, sir? Is it alright if you tell me about the other veterans, sir? Why did you choose to trust me, sir? Do you ever wish you were born in a different world, sir?_

Levi does not lie to him. Never has and never will to Eren, because the world is full of people that love to lie and cheat and double-cross to further their own selves, and Eren deserves someone in his life that will not bullshit nor coddle him.

He utters a simple, “Yes.”

See, there was once a boy with simple goals and simple dreams: avenge his mother's death, kill all the Titans, explore the world, and grow old with his closest friends. He spoke of sparkling waters and fiery lands, scorching dunes and frozen mountains, his ambitious hopes and his desire for **_freedom_**.

Then, soon enough, this boy discovered the truth about the world beyond the Walls, the world that left them behind, the world that wants them _dead_.

His spirit has taken multiple beatings at this point, each strike more merciless than the previous. The world showed no remorse as it chipped away at his bolstering soul. The world laughed at his naivety and ignorance. The world dangled false dreams and niceties in his face, taunting and provoking and _daring_ the beast to fight back.

Thus, fight back Eren did.

He rose up from the ground he’s been countlessly shoved down onto, rising like a phoenix and shedding his old skin like a snake. If they see it as fair to take away his and his friends’ freedom, then it’s only fair for him to take away theirs.

He’ll deconstruct the world and shape it in what he perceives as beautiful, he’ll allow himself to be vilified if it means keeping his people safe from harm, he’ll be the fucking _villain_ to perform acts of necessary evil for the sake of his loved ones.

With that, however, came disregarding Levi, Mikasa, Armin, _everyone else’s_ freedom. Eren threw away their own ability to choose, believing his way as the only way out and only way for them to keep moving forward. For a guy that boasts of everyone’s fundamental rights to liberty and making their own choices, Eren could be such a fucking hypocrite.

_This kid..._

Levi himself can’t tell if his thoughts are fond or exasperated or angry or just plain _tired_.

“You’re supposed to be in Paradis where it’s safe,” Eren says.

“And let you continue this fucking bloodbath?”

“But _is_ there something else we could do? Captain, the outside world was supposed to be beautiful,” Eren’s voice falls into a whisper. “But the outside world is just full of more hatred, more fighting, more war, so I’m putting a stop to it all.”

Levi is silent for a few heartbeats. “Armin and Mikasa wanted to see if they can talk you down. I don’t know where they are now.”

“They’re somewhere safe with the others.” A tight smile. “I’m curious about _you_ , though, Captain? Why are you here?”

“...To stop you.”

“Why?”

“I’ve been ordered by the 15th Survey Corps Commander to stop you at all costs,” is his curt answer before he lifts up a sharpened blade to point it at Eren.

Levi is a good soldier.

So, his personal feelings should have no say in these matters.

Eren bows his head, downcast.

“But do _you_ want me to stop?”

If he were a lesser man, he would’ve startled at the question. To be fucking honest, he doesn’t know. And that’s not exactly a new phenomenon. He wants to tear apart Zeke Jaeger and fulfill his promise to Erwin, _that’s_ for sure. The rest and everything else, he doesn’t know shit.

Eren looks as if he expected his silence. “What comes next if I stop the Rumbling?”

Levi has no answer to that either.

If Erwin was here, he would’ve constructed some insane gamble to see if peace is truly possible. Erwin likely would’ve went on with a partial Rumbling or ordered an attack on an enemy fleet. Erwin would’ve manipulated the situation to get as much information as possible, to use these findings to his advantage, to make this master plan that would end with Paradis and its people coming out alive.

If Erwin was here, he... might’ve actually agreed with the Rumbling if he saw that there truly is no hope.

Fucking Sina, it’s not like the people of the Walls will just to roll over and die for the close-minded fuckers living the Walls to have peace of mind, even if those people _are_ brainwashed into believing that they’re “spawns of the Devil”.

That’s simply a cause many don’t see as worth dying for.

...And Levi finds himself agreeing with them.

He wants to say that he trusts in his squad members and in Hange, but what _do_ they have planned? What did they come up with these past few years? What’s taking them so damn long that Eren decided to take things into his own hands and do things himself? How will they achieve peace if they stop the Rumbling from happening right this instant?

Fuck this headache-inducing bullshit. Everything was much easier when they were killing Titans and fighting to win against those ravenous beasts.

“Zeke is in that cart,” Eren tells him.

Levi immediately whips his head to the same supply wagon he saw earlier. Sure enough, there’s a limbless and unconscious Zeke Jaeger slumped over a pile of blankets, a gaping hole in his lower gut. No steam is coming from his bleeding wounds. He glances back at Eren. “Is he dead?”

“No. I saved him for you,” Eren admits, shaking his head. “He’s not regenerating because I asked Ymir not to help him.”

“Ymir?”

“A former slave to the royal bloodline’s will. She helped me get rid of the blood requirement. She’s free now.”

He absolutely _refuses_ to dive deeper into the logical clusterfuck that is the power of the Titans than absolutely necessary, opting to fixate on the other important thing. Eren is practically handing him the opportunity to complete Erwin’s final mission for him on a shiny golden platter.

Levi narrows his eyes at Eren.

“What do you want?”

A wistful smile.

"I want you to kill me, Levi."

He allows himself just this one time to openly gape at Eren, visibly stunned with his mouth slightly ajar and eyes wider than his usual blank face.

Not _Captain_ Levi.

No honorific.

Just Levi.

"You promised, right? When I was fifteen. 'If he loses control, I'll kill him without hesitation.' That's what you said."

Eren takes a small step forward, allowing the tip of Levi's sword to prickle his throat. The wound does not steam nor regenerate in what is probably a conscious choice, and Levi's eyes follow the slow trickle of a crimson droplet down his neck.

"Well, guess what, _Captain_." A wry, sarcastic smile at the abrupt use of the honorific again. Even as the creator of a cesspool of death, he still manages to find the opportunities to be a little shit. "I've lost my mind. I'm **_insane_**."

 _Insane_?

Levi begs to differ.

Eren is very much sane. Very much aware. Very much the product of having everything crumble down around him.

Performing actions classed as insane? Yes.

Legitimately out of his mind and psychotic? No.

Once upon a long time ago, Levi had once met this kid's eyes that _burned_ with passion, with hatred, with a drive to prove himself and leave a mark in this world. He had once complimented the kid's declaration to kill, annihilate, _eradicate_ all the Titans. He had once saw himself in this fiery ball of pent-up rage. He once vowed to preserve that fire, let it burn for as long as he can, and kindle it into something _powerful_.

Eren understands the extent and extremity of what he’s doing; he does not make excuses to hide the fact that he’s taking millions of innocent lives for the innocent people of Paradis Island.

Levi can’t blame him for the path he’s taken.

“Why do you want me to kill you?”

_Why haven’t you done it yourself?_

Eren shrugs noncommittally, as if he didn’t just fucking ask Levi to _assist with his suicide_. That’s not enough of an answer for him.

“Why do you want me to kill you?” Levi repeats.

“Because I’d rather have you do it.”

For a moment, it’s as if they’re back at the Survey Corps HQ way back when, with Eren having another brooding episode that’ll end up with an emotional explosion when the weight of his thoughts becomes too much for him to handle, with Eren fiddling with his clothes under Levi’s scrutinizing stare, with Eren silently grasping for a way to verbalize emotions that he’s always had a shitty understanding of, with Eren eventually spilling his guts and lungs and heart in a single breath, with Eren laying down his feelings on Levi’s feet and trusting in him not to share them with others because _I’m supposed to be Humanity’s Last Hope_ and _I’m supposed to be strong_.

"So please... kill me."

Levi is a good soldier.

So, why is he hesitating?

Why _now_ of all times does he think of hushed nightly conversations? Of training alongside one another and giving advice on how to conserve gas? Of quiet reassurances that _you're a monster but not in the way you think_ and that _you're as human as any of us are_? Of deep-seated trust and faith and _I'm sorry for always doing this to you but, Eren, you have to make a choice_? Of hidden smiles while the other flamboyantly regales dramatized versions of how his day went? Of silent apologies and allowing the kid to be a kid for once and _Eren, do you hate me_?

Why is he so affected by the utter lack of _emotions_ in Eren’s voice? Why is he much more devastated by the current events when Eren made the choice he’d have the least regrets making? Why is he unwilling to fulfill a simple order—command—no, _request_ of a comrade that simply wants the release of death?

He wonders if his thoughts are that fucking loud, or if Eren developed some bullshit mind-reading powers because Eren starts speaking in that toneless, unsettling voice of his.

“Zeke wanted to use the Founding Titan to euthanize the Subjects of Ymir. I have the ability to change parts of their biology. He wanted to stop them from being able to reproduce, but I can stop them from being able to turn into Titans.”

Eren inhales deeply, shutting his eyes. “If you tell me the others will forgive me, I don’t think they can unless I stop the Rumbling altogether. If I do stop, they’ll get killed by foreign nations. Call me a coward if you want, or a monster, or whatever, but I’ve given you my final request.

“I want you to kill me, Levi."

Levi is a good soldier.

But, ultimately, he’s still human.

And humans are weak to their emotions.

So, he obliges.

Drawing his sword back, he drives it through Eren's heart, the one Eren had sacrificed for _us_ and not _them_ , the one Eren had allowed to be corrupted by a desperate desire for control, the one Eren had offered up for humanity within the Walls.

"Cap... _tain_..." Eren gasps for air but does not retaliate to the blade that runs into his chest and out through his spine. He doesn't lash out, doesn't fight back, doesn't do anything to heal the wound or turn into a Titan right then and there. If he truly wanted to, he could shift and kill Levi in an instant.

But he doesn’t.

Levi gently lowers the two of them onto the ground. Leaning close, Levi presses his forehead against Eren’s and murmurs, "Eren, I forgive you."

Eren digs his hands onto his thighs, and it hits Levi instantly that he’s starting to _cry_. He lets out quiet, heart-breaking sobs at Levi’s words. He weeps as if he believes that doesn’t _deserve_ to be able to. His lip quivers with apologies fighting one another to spill from his mouth.

“Tell the others that I—I’m sorry. I’ve never hated Mikasa nor Armin, never can, never _will_. Jean deserves a mother and home to come back to. Historia should continue being true to herself...”

Levi listens to every single one, archiving as much of the babbling as he can in his mind. He takes the offered pieces of Eren’s naked soul, cupping it between his figurative hands, and vows to share it with the people that have stuck by his side through everything.

When he moves to partially embrace Eren around the sword in his chest, Eren bows his head to expose his nape, his long brown hair curtaining his face and hiding his expression from view. “And... you deserve to be happy too, Levi.”

 _Don’t worry about me_ is on the tip of his tongue, but since when does Eren Jaeger simply not worry about the people close to him? Stupid selfless brat.

Instead, Levi cups his face with one hand and leans back. The tips of his lips arch upward, and he lets his fondness and adoration and _love_ shine through. He smiles at Eren despite everything he’s done, despite all his sins and transgressions and wrongdoings. He may be dooming the rest of the fucking world with his decision, but it’s a choice he doesn’t find himself regretting.

Eren gives him a tiny, minuscule nod.

His other hand rests his sword against the back of Eren’s neck.

In one quick swipe, he slices clean through its base.

He feels Eren’s body sag against him, his body quickly registering the disconnection of its spine. His skin warms up considerably, no longer hot and heated because of his Shifter biology that’s made many winters a bit more bearable. His eyes are half-lidded, no longer shining and burning and _bright_ like the most precious and sought-after of jewels in a noble’s collection. His cheeks glimmer from the tear tracks staining them, sparkling in the moonlight like hardened Titan skin.

For a moment, Levi expects Eren’s body to steam and disappear like any Titan’s corpse would, expects it to crack open and expose his skeleton, expects it to crumble into dust from between his fingertips and soar into the night sky.

But it doesn’t.

Because Eren Jaeger is a human.

Always has been.

"You can rest. You're free now, Eren."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this goddamn thing in one sitting instead of doing school stuff, what is wrong with me sfhdfj I saw these GORGEOUS artworks on Twitter by @nanami94728188 [[first](https://twitter.com/nanami94728188/status/1294512762312429571), [second](https://twitter.com/nanami94728188/status/1293314664525422592), and [third](https://twitter.com/nanami94728188/status/1292693959316250626)] and got inspired to write this. Please go support the artist and their works! The title of this fic is from the sketch of the manga's final panel that says the same words (お前は自由だ).
> 
> What _is_ Levi's opinion on the Rumbling? Has it been mentioned yet? We know that he's disappointed in himself for not seeing Eren's defection sooner, but has he voiced out what he thinks about saving the rest of humanity that wants them dead?
> 
> Thank you for reading this rushed piece of work! If you enjoyed or have something you might want to read in the future, please feel free to leave a comment on your way out! I'm off to go do homework, hahah.


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